Note to Apple: Europeans Have Internet, Have Seen This Before

Wow! I’m not European, but I play one on TV. I cannot imagine that Europeans are going to be too impressed by the “Event” at the Regent Street Apple Store today.  What was announced comes down to this:

• Announced the exact same iPhone announced 9 months ago in the US and rolled out 3 months ago
• Will be out in 2 MORE months
• Significant extra cost (blame the weak dollar and 17.5% VAT?)
• Limited EDGE Internet
• Limited Unlimited Bandwidth
• EDGE coverage is at 30% of UK
• Acknowledged that there are fewer hotspot options in Europe
• No 3G like 90% of the other smartphones because it is a “battery hog”  EDGE will crawl. Rationale: we like slim – can’t make slim 3G phone (don’t tell Nokia, Samsung, LG, etc)

So, as a fake European, I have to believe that there is going to be some backlash around these parts.  We have Internet over here.  We saw what went down in January.  We’ve seen smug Americans rolling over here with your slim little devices. I guess the reality distortion field isn’t strong outside of the San Francisco Bay area….

Apple probably could have saved some money by just getting a 30 inch Cinema display and playing back parts of the Macworld and WWDC announcements, except dubbing over some benny Hill background music and replacing the $ signs with double priced, cursive “L’s”

Still though, the iPhone is a sick piece of equipment. And it will sell like hotcakes…or Pannenkoeken…I would wager that most sales will by GSM hackers that buy them from the US and slang with old Firmware.  

Innit.