Amid rising smoke that Apple has its own take on the automobile in the works, The Onion has covered the rumor in typical The Onion fashion with the above mockup and the following features:
Windshield features four times as many pixels as reality
Full vertical integration with Apple Gasoline
Driver prompted to sign into iCloud before each gear shift
Compatible with most major roads
Recommends new driving speeds based on user’s past favorites
Sleek, unobtrusive airbags
Windshield cracks easily, though car typically still works fine afterward
Sticker price of $85,000 drops to $199 with two-year Verizon contract
Wheels turn into rainbow pinwheels whenever car stalls
Lightweight but powerful enough to careen across six lanes of traffic and through guardrails of overpass
Comes with couple of cool Apple stickers
Pretty excited about the Apple stickers finally coming to cars, but I’m skeptical about the cup holder until at least generation three. You can read the whole piece at The Onion.
FTC: We use income earning auto affiliate links. More.