Meatbags beware: the App Store’s most popular sadistic artificial intelligence is back. CARROT Fit, a brand new app from the creator of the to-do and alarm clock apps in the CARROT family, was launched today.

The latest addition to the CARROT family is designed to help you get your massive bloated body into something resembling a respectable shape.

When I installed CARROT Fit, I had some idea of what to expect based on my experience with previous CARROT apps. I had already seen screenshots of the app, but I was still (pleasantly) caught off-guard by just how snarky and rude it was.

For example, when you first start the app, it will attempt to detect your weight automatically. Suffice it to say the estimation is… less than flattering. After entering your real weight, you have to choose an avatar for yourself. There are many to choose from, but selecting the wrong one will result in mocking.

Every single line of dialogue in the app is spoken aloud using iOS 7’s text-to-speech functionality, keeping the app’s filesize small while allowing CARROT to audibly harass you at every chance.

On the functionality side, the app is very solid. In the settings page you can (optinally) enter your height to get your body mass index. From the log page, you can set a weight goal and track your weight over a month, a three-month period, or a full year.

Once you’ve finished setting everything up, you can check in daily with your updated weight to earn rewards (or threats!) from CARROT.

More fitness-focused additions are planned for the app in the future, according to the developer. These updates will include a six-minute workout and 5K.

As with the entire CARROT family, you can tap around the app to find little touches and easter eggs that make the app that much more enjoyable.

You can grab CARROT Fit on the iOS App Store for $1.99 now… or else.