When CBS shared a photo of Charlie Rose touring Apple’s secretive design studio to promote an upcoming 60 Minutes piece, we got to wondering what it was Jony Ive was explaining to Rose.
How thick the iPhone 7 will be now that Apple has decided to include all the various features people have asked for? What the first prototype of the battery hump looked like? How much thicker his wallet got after his promotion?
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“There is no reason that the Apple Car should be any thicker than this.”
“Charlie. After I press the button, you will be reduced in size to being this tall, just like Mike Teevee in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory!”
“Steve really wanted the first iPhone to be this big, but I had to talk him out of it”
This is how much respect I originally had for Scott Forstall
“People want a thicker iPhone with more storage so we are giving it to them! A full week of battery life and 1TB of storage in the most advanced smartphone ever!”
“The iPhone 6 starts out from a block of Al-U-Min-ium this thick”
“It’s the thickest block of Al-U-Min-ium we’ve eva used for an iPhone”
When is the next iPhone going to look like
… when click my fingers to have the spotlight turned on, you’ll see that I can create a shadow image of a leaping tiger devouring the Swiss watch industry.
“The apple was this size before Steve took a bite and rest is history”
I once caught a fish this big!
…shortly afterwards I gave up fishing and turned my attention to product design.
“Our latest amazing design philosophy has had a profound impact on the appeal of our latest products.”
I can’t. I just can’t. It’s too easy.
Ive: This is the size of the new iPod Shuffle
Rose: It’s exactly the same as the old ones…
*What Charlie Rose is thinking
“That’s what he said in September, June, the September before that…”
“I think we’ve finally cracked it, look if I hold it edge on you can’t actually see it”
“Yes This size of battery space is enough for iphone 7”
“you know Next iwatch size is this big “
“What don’t you understand? Have you heard of the metric system Charlie?”
Brits don’t use the metric system too.
“Missed it by THAT much.”
Well, whatever he’s saying, it’s a dead solid lock that the “F” word is in there somewhere, Innit?
If Steve was alive, I would have been this far from a smack in the face when I proposed the humped battery cover.
Remember when our first phone was this thick?
Chief Design Officer Jony Ive shows ’60 Minutes’ correspondent Charlie Rose how the iPhone 6C was born. “I just made a C with my fingers and my staff knew exactly what to do next,” Ive said.
“Something that is profoundly true to its form, that defines our products; not the thickness or weight.”
Our traditional power systems have fuses, you know the pin box you can take out from your fuse box, we’ve made the lighting connector so that it automatically cuts of the power supply
Ive: “You see Charlie, we want to make a Mac Pro this big.”
Rose: “That tall?”
Ive: “And that thin.”
Ive: “This is how much paper I used before I found out about the iPad Pro, now on sale for $1000!”
Thick is the new thin.
“Charlie, your body is shaped like this right now”
All things can be more thin. The only exception is my wallet. It just keeps growing until now it is this thick.
Counter to my ideas about thinness, my wallet keeps growing until it has reached this thickness.
We took a sample human, removed all the bits that weren’t really that necessary and this is how small we got it. Now my friend Elon can travel by USPS!
Ive: “Now we have to build a watch for people with wrists this thick!”
“Centigrade, Charlie, Centigrade, not Fahrenheit. What country are you from?”
“My hair used to be this long”
“No, Charlie. Pinch to ZOOM!”
“We are completely redesigning the concept of thickness.”
“Only on my hands this could look too thick.”
“…and people will be actually willing to pay THIS.”
“People will be complaining about our battery case then competing for a battery pack THIS thick.”
” the brain size of android users” . Sorry. Couldn’t help myself
“Charlie, this IS the iPhone 7”
Don’t touch my stuff, I have a thing about people touching my stuff!
“By iPhone 9, the battery case will be this thick.”
The elves making our products… seriously, this tall!
“The Apple Pencil was supposed to be this tall.”
“Our hologram will be controlled like this.”
“Now I only work this much.”
“Let me inspect your eyes, look at my hand”
“We only care about what people want this much.”
“Can you believe it? This much gold is used to make that watch”
“To help keep them hidden, all our prototypes are this big.”
“We’re this close to losing encryption in iOS.”
“The jailbreak community is now this big. We’re almost done with them.”
“I want hair only this tall.”
“I’ve this many gray t-shirts now.”
“This is how close you need to be for Apple Pay to work.”
“This is how close 2 Apple Watches need to get to activate our new intimacy feature.”
“This is how close we are to dominating the world.”
So you grab the Iphone 7 like this and poof you disappear from the NSA database.
“This is how much we care about what people want.”
“iPad Pro icons were gonna be this big.”
“Our next 3D Touch will let you insert your fingers this much into the screen. So it’s finally real 3D.”
“Apple Car’s tires are gonna be this thin.”
“People, sometimes, prove to be this smart.”
Did you guys forget this or what?