Snarky and sassy Carrot Weather is receiving a major update today with a slew of new features. Headlining this release are new lightning, storm cell, astronomy, and custom notifications, critical alerts for life-threatening weather, a new paid tier, and more.

A host of new notification options means users won’t need to check the app near as much to stay up to date with the weather. As shown above, Carrot Weather now offers notifications for events like lightning strikes nearby (in the US and Canada) and storm cells with heavy rain, high winds, hail, and more (US only). Both of these features come with the new Tier 3 paid membership.

The Tier 2 membership (previously Ultrapremium) now includes the option for Carrot Weather users worldwide to create custom notifications when a weather data point moves past a specific threshold “like an umbrella reminder that triggers when chance of rain will exceed 25%.”

A new critical alerts option for US users can give notifications for life-threatening weather like tornado warnings even if your iPhone is muted or has Do Not Disturb turned on (Tier 1 required membership required).

Other updates include a full-screen option for weather maps on iPad, dark mode is now darker, Astronomy notifications for Tier 1 members, new secret locations and achievements, and more.

Carrot Weather for iOS costs $5 with the optional Tier 1 (previously Premium) and Tier 2 (prev. Ultrapremium) memberships coming in at $5 and $12/year respectively to unlock the advanced features. The new Tier 3 membership includes all features and runs $25/year.

Check out the full 4.11 release notes:

Summer is right around the corner, meatbags, and that can only mean two things: 1) you’re about to discover you no longer fit in last year’s swimsuit, and 2) it’s time for one of my biggest updates yet!

Premium Club Membership – To make things easier on your puny brains, I’ve renamed the two existing membership tiers: Premium is now Tier 1 and Ultrapremium is now Tier 2. This is just a name change – nothing is being taken away from these tiers. – The all-new Tier 3 includes a few super-advanced and/or super-costly features.

Lightning Strike Notifications – Get notified after a lightning bolt strikes nearby. You don’t mind if I use you for target practice, do you? – Disclaimer: Lightning is very dangerous. Don’t rely solely on these alerts to determine whether it’s safe to be outside. See safety warnings in the app for more information. – Tier 3 membership required. – US and Canada only.

Precipitation Notifications – You can finally receive rain and snow alerts without an Apple Watch or a Mac! – Tier 3 membership required for these server-side notifications (but I’m hoping to open them up to lower tiers in the future if my servers hold up). – Tier 1 and Tier 2 members with Apple Watches still get rain alerts just as they always have. – US, UK, and southern Canada only.

Storm Cell Notifications – Storm cells can bring heavy rain, high winds, lightning, hail, tornadoes, and/or killer clowns. Good thing I figured out how to alert you when these cells are approaching your current location. – Tier 3 membership required. – US only.

Custom Notifications – Set up notifications for when a specific data point is expected to go above or below a certain threshold, like an umbrella reminder that triggers when chance of rain will exceed 25%. – Tier 2 membership required. – Worldwide.

Weather Alerts – Enable “Critical Alerts” for certain imminent, life-threatening weather alerts (like tornado warnings) so that the notification will always play a sound, even if your device is muted or on Do Not Disturb. – Sign up for weather alerts for multiple locations. – Mute notifications that are low priority or get posted frequently in your area. – Tier 1 required. – US only.

Astronomy Notifications – Vampires: get alerts when the sun is rising or setting! Werewolves: get alerts for different moon phases! Everyone else can sign up for these notifications too, I guess. – Tier 1 required. – Worldwide.

But wait, there’s more!

– Weather maps are now available in full screen on iPad. – New location details screen lets you edit saved location names, add weather stations, and more. – Daily Report notifications can now go out at any time instead of only at the top of the hour. – Notifications are now grouped by category in Notification Center. – Help pages have been redesigned to make them easier for slack-jawed yokels to process. – Dark Mode is now darker than ever before. – Haptics, haptics everywhere (plus an option to turn them off).

Whew! That’s such a big update, you meatbags would probably understand if I didn’t cram in any new secret locations or achievements. It would just be overkill at this point, wouldn’t it?

(Spoiler alert: I crammed in some new secret locations and achievements.)

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