Gizmodo got its hands on Apple’s secretive Genius training manual and just posted an extensive breakdown of what goes on behind the retail scenes.

According to Gizmodo

It’s a penetrating look inside Apple: psychological mastery, banned words, roleplaying—you’ve never seen anything like it.

The Genius Training Student Workbook we received is the company’s most up to date, we’re told, and runs a bizarre gamut of Apple Dos and Don’ts, down to specific words you’re not allowed to use, and lessons on how to identify and capitalize on human emotions. The manual could easily serve as the Humanity 101 textbook for a robot university, but at Apple, it’s an exhaustive manual to understanding customers and making them happy. Sales, it turns out, take a backseat to good vibes—almost the entire volume is dedicated to empathizing, consoling, cheering up, and correcting various Genius Bar confrontations. The assumption, it’d seem, is that a happy customer is a customer who will buy things. And no matter how much the Apple Store comes off as some kind of smiling likeminded computer commune, it’s still a store above all—just one that puts an enormous amount of effort behind getting inside your head.

Check out a few workbook pages above, and then go to Gizmodo for all the details.

In related news, Apple started giving Apple employees a free 50GB storage boost to their iCloud accounts. The $100 a year value also includes the 5GB of complimentary storage that comes standard upon signup. A screenshot of the perk is in the workbook gallery above. [via MacRumors]

Today’s Apple news is brimming with retail tidbits. Research group NPD released another study this morning that claimed 90 percent of Apple product consumers felt “extremely or very satisfied” following their experiences at Genius Bars. Those stats were overshadowed, however, by yesterday’s report from IFOAppleStore. It asserted Apple is maintaining new policies —despite wide-spread criticism over recent retail layoffs— that reflect budget cuts with an emphasis on revenue. To top it all off, 9to5Mac also detailed a ninth Apple store coming to Germany next month as well as a second store in Hong Kong.

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